a soulful relationship
read on...read on...read on...
an african proverb states, "before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."
before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.
once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. if you love your partner and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. you and your partner have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. you are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.
neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? do you bring out the best in each other?
do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? what do you bring to the relationship? do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? you can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. you can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
if you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. what keeps a relationship strong?
communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).
leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.
sharing common goals and interests. growth is important. grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. allow your mate to have outside interest. you can't always be together. give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. don't try to control one another. learn each other's family situation. respect his or her parents regardless.
don't put pressure on each other for material goods. remember for richer or for poorer. if these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
the difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.
remember, new and budding lovers always seek perfection, those who have been together for so long learn the art of sewing the shreads together and learn to see beauty in a multiplicity of patches!
an african proverb states, "before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."
before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.
once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. if you love your partner and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. you and your partner have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. you are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.
neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? do you bring out the best in each other?
do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? what do you bring to the relationship? do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? you can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. you can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
if you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. what keeps a relationship strong?
communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).
leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.
sharing common goals and interests. growth is important. grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. allow your mate to have outside interest. you can't always be together. give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. don't try to control one another. learn each other's family situation. respect his or her parents regardless.
don't put pressure on each other for material goods. remember for richer or for poorer. if these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
the difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.
remember, new and budding lovers always seek perfection, those who have been together for so long learn the art of sewing the shreads together and learn to see beauty in a multiplicity of patches!
posted by vervepipe at
5:12 PM
1 Comments:
My opinions.....
Nice points on this piece. although the grammar could still be better. (i.e. manipulation, control can be just manipulation or control. a little bit redundant or "pressure from others" can be just "peer pressure")
For my other comments:
One point I don't agree in is the "closing one eye" part. Not letting every little thing bother you is kind of hard once your together for a couple of years, especially when that little thing keeps on repeating itself. Rather than "not let every little thing bother" i believe it would be best to accept that little thing. Accepting is way better than Ignoring.
Another point is that some points lack continuity, some points just came out then DOT the thought stops there. (i.e. if you develop self esteem, you won't find yourself making someone else responsible your your happiness then stop. A dead thought. i think a "because blah blah..." should be added.
The difference between united and untie! classic! nice work! you did thought of that yourself right? if not, you should mention where you got it.
Got a lot more comments on your other pieces but i'm too busy to write it down still. hehehe.
Again these are only my opinions, none of them are even professional opinions. just my thoughts. care to accept or overlook them is clearly none of my biz.
Last question, might be considered a direct attack but oh well, were these points you wish you had done or should have had with your ex? Just wanted to know what inspired you to write this.
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