dying young
dying at 45 is not so bad.
i mean by then i’m pretty much sure that i’ve done everything. in my life’s personal checklist, i think i’ve pretty much covered everything: i’ve travelled extensively, seen the world; did good and did mean things; went crazy; fell in and out of love; taught at the university; had my research published in a well-respected and peer-reviewed international journal and presented the same research abroad; worked in no less than the # 1 companies in their field and now at an international organization; earned and lost money; met my father and knew him well enough to know myself in the process; became so close to my siblings again and that was really great! loved and hated people; i’ve been very nice and mean at the same time; was then very dependent and now very much independent; went skiing, snowshoeing, spelunking, hiking, surfing, went to the islands, the country, and the city; saw at least one great wonder of the world and now up to see another one; was hospitalized for a period i never thought will end; was called (?) and turned my back, but now seriously thinking about it again; was drunk like there's no tomorrow and avoided alcohol at the same time; slept for just an hour and slept the entire day; made some great friendships and lost some of the best ones as well; was at my very best and worst; pursued to learned french and stopped it! hahahaha!what else...?!
...and so many other things!
apparently, i am not to judge and decide as when this life will end. i mean, it’s not as if i can’s take it. in fact, i believe that there’s always a side of us that wants to take it once we cannot handle life. but that’s cowardice and plain stupidity. and i am not dumb to do just that.
but really, dying young is always a possibility – and dying can happen anytime. the reason why i can welcome it with ease and with great acceptance is the fact that i have somehow lived my life in ways i want it lived. i may have some regrets though, actually, there some parts of it that i would rather not remember, or wished never happened. but my life has been great that those forgettable events seem to just vanish in a second.
so, to die at 45 is fine. gee, got to do some more good stuff...i’m nearing that age! :) but i’m not mortified. :)
i will one day meet my God and tell him that i lived it great and knew just how to live it again. i will tell Him that some stuff that He made aren't really for us all, but trusts that His reasons far outweigh our capacity to understand. on the whole, i am sure that i will be forgiven as i have made my life meaningful and worth living.
so again, am i mortified to die at 45? the answer - NO!
i mean by then i’m pretty much sure that i’ve done everything. in my life’s personal checklist, i think i’ve pretty much covered everything: i’ve travelled extensively, seen the world; did good and did mean things; went crazy; fell in and out of love; taught at the university; had my research published in a well-respected and peer-reviewed international journal and presented the same research abroad; worked in no less than the # 1 companies in their field and now at an international organization; earned and lost money; met my father and knew him well enough to know myself in the process; became so close to my siblings again and that was really great! loved and hated people; i’ve been very nice and mean at the same time; was then very dependent and now very much independent; went skiing, snowshoeing, spelunking, hiking, surfing, went to the islands, the country, and the city; saw at least one great wonder of the world and now up to see another one; was hospitalized for a period i never thought will end; was called (?) and turned my back, but now seriously thinking about it again; was drunk like there's no tomorrow and avoided alcohol at the same time; slept for just an hour and slept the entire day; made some great friendships and lost some of the best ones as well; was at my very best and worst; pursued to learned french and stopped it! hahahaha!what else...?!
...and so many other things!
apparently, i am not to judge and decide as when this life will end. i mean, it’s not as if i can’s take it. in fact, i believe that there’s always a side of us that wants to take it once we cannot handle life. but that’s cowardice and plain stupidity. and i am not dumb to do just that.
but really, dying young is always a possibility – and dying can happen anytime. the reason why i can welcome it with ease and with great acceptance is the fact that i have somehow lived my life in ways i want it lived. i may have some regrets though, actually, there some parts of it that i would rather not remember, or wished never happened. but my life has been great that those forgettable events seem to just vanish in a second.
so, to die at 45 is fine. gee, got to do some more good stuff...i’m nearing that age! :) but i’m not mortified. :)
i will one day meet my God and tell him that i lived it great and knew just how to live it again. i will tell Him that some stuff that He made aren't really for us all, but trusts that His reasons far outweigh our capacity to understand. on the whole, i am sure that i will be forgiven as i have made my life meaningful and worth living.
so again, am i mortified to die at 45? the answer - NO!
posted by vervepipe at
5:19 PM
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