when reality bites...it bites hard!

nothing extravagant happened on my 26th birthday. although i personally almost always don’t plan anything, i still, at least, expect that something good will happen on that exact date. then it came and passed. quite frankly, i was disappointed that i didn't have a blast at all. i was too busy with so many things. in fact i even went to the office for i still have so many things to do and with so much pending jobs to finish. the year started off with so much that i can hardly breathe at all - both professionally and personally! as early as this time of the year, i figured that you can't have everything you wanted...even if its your birthday! while you believe that you have all the reasons in the world to celebrate, others will just shrug it off...it's not their special day, anyway.

if there's one good thing i reaped on my birthday, it was the exchange of emails that i had with JE, a good friend in the graduate school. i actually miss her and her lofty ideas. her headstrong ideas that most of the time led to our intellectual arguments in and out of the classrooms. we then talked about poverty, social disorder, the role of politics in all the aspects of development, and so many other things. but then she stopped pursuing what i thought then was something she was passionate about. her reasons i guess were valid that i stopped encouraging her to finish the program.

i just thought now that its worthwhile to post our email conversation here. the topic was about happiness. JE is her and i am GG. i'm sure she'll despise me for posting this up, but then i guess this might eventually help other people. i have arranged the email trail from the time she sent me the email up to the very last reply so everybody can follow easily.

the content of the email trail would reveal that truly, when reality bites, it really bites hard enough that it'll affect you and everythig around you that you thought are perfect and nice.

JE writes:

Oy,
Happy Birthday! I pray for your happiness, pare.
May you find the path you are destined to take…baka pagpapari un hehehe ..
Ingat lagi and stay happy! God bless you!

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GG writes:
hi je,

i hope you got my text messages yesterday...anyways, im just glad
to know (and subsequently become friends) people like you.
you keep me grounded and sane...

may you find happiness as well.

god bless!

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JE writes:
Hey ,
I hope u had a great day yesterday! Meetings on your birthday??!!! That’s bad! You should go and have a hot date on ur bday, brother! Hahaha ..
Anyways, until next year! Haha …
Stay grounded!
Let us both find our own happiness and keep in touch to tell the story,ok?!
God bless!

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GG writes:
of course...i hope we could find that great happiness...no matter how brief it is...basta yung at
the end of the day e we can say that we really had great happiness...meron kaya nun?

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JE writes:
Of course there is such happiness …pero ayoko yata ung no matter how brief it is I want happiness and I want to work on it to make it last. U get me? Ano ba itong happiness na ito? It so differ with peace of mind. I once heard a friend of mine saying he’d rather have peace of mind than happiness because for him, when you have peace of mind, you have that happiness … someone. I beg to differ. I have peace of mind, I really do. Am I unhappy? No. Am I happy?… shouldn’t I be? I dunno. Maybe the kind of happiness we seek is too much to be fathomed by our finite minds, no?

Naku, OA na ako…Sana, kahit “briefly” lang ay naging happy ka kahapon. Birthdays, I believe, should always commence everything in ones life …


Ingat, tol at tama na ang ka OA-an natin … hehehe … magiging happy ako if magkaroon ako ng US visa ngayon o di kaya 50 MILYON DOLLARS! Why not, dib a? hehehe …

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GG writes:
at one side your friend is right…genuine happiness comes when you find peace of mind. and i can also say that your initial statement about the achievement of eternal happiness is quite wrong. i think eternal happiness is not in this world. it is met when you finally get to meet your creator. needless to say, seeking that in this imperfect world would be useless. we can be happy in so many ways, dont get me wrong, i am happy...but i come to feel that there is still something lacking in me...maybe its the longing for somebody...ei, im 26 and still single and alone...at a time when all of my closest friends are getting married, here i am still not attached to anybody...maybe i have a problem...or maybe this is what the Lord wants me to experience...as to when, where, how, why and/or what...those questions i can never answer in my own strength and time...tama ka cguro, we should stop thinknig about it and focus more on the essentials. but then again, isn't that issue a part of what is significant? gulo!


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JE writes:
Hey gg
I think you’re normal to feel what you’re feeling right now. Of course, we want someone to share our everything with, diba? and that’s the kind of happiness your heart seeks.

Hay naku, why don’t you go out with other women? Kasi naman, baka laki pa ng hang up mo dyan ke ex na magpapakasal na din naman sa iba. Move on, pare. You deserve to find that someone who will laugh with you, who will make you smile in the middle of your one million tasks at work. Gets? Wag mo kasing isara yang lintak mong utak at puso ke ex no?! baka andyan na sa harap mo ung babaeng para sa iyo e bulag ka para makita sya, di ba?

Bakit nga ba ganun? When you think nothing is wrong in your life, everything seems ok, career, family, studies… pero kapag walang chuva, ang laki ng kulang no?!

Wala naman kasi akong mapakilala sa iyong friends ko na kaya ang topak mo sa utak .. HAHAHA .. kami lang ni B ang nakaka take ng ugali mo! Hahaha …

Hey, don’t get tired of finding your Ms. Right, ok?!

Stay busy, remain active, and stay the SAME (oh no, am I saying this? Shame! I forgot to eat dinner at breakfast e. GUTOM LANG ITO! Hahahaha)

God bless you always!

amigos para siempre y hermanos tambien

it is always great to start the year right; waking up early for work, seeing your officemates (at least only the ones that you really want to see) again, exchanging stories of what had transpired during the long holiday break (that occupies almost the entire morning that was supposed to be devoted for working...the bosses are still out on their respective vacations so i guess its just fine! hehehehe!

the true challenge in all these comes in sustaining that great start. today is the first day of work for the year and i was able to come on time. i can't say how long i can sustain this but i am just happy to start this year with a bang!
i am not so much inclined to talk about my professional life, rather, i am more interested in writing about the new friendships that i have interestingly developed at the start of the year. it is always a pleasure to be meeting people. i guess this goes with who i really am - my out-going, free-spirited, and sunny personality truly reflects the people person in me and who doesn't mind being approached for the right reasons.

very particular amongst these bonds that i am referring to is about this friend that i have just met...just this morning. i met this wonderfully nice, kind, understanding, calm and especially intelligent and intricate soul! a graduate of one of the top law schools of the country. actually took the bar last september. i met this person by a mere chance! a chance that the person bravely took when i in fact declined at the instant prodding. the meeting came at a time when i was too much engrossed conversing with another new-found-friend that suddenly became sour for an unknown and yet settled reason.

the first conversation lasted for hours and it was one of those that you will take even in your slumber. the topics varied from the mundane things that old friends talk about...yes, it was an instant click! it was as if we have known each other for a long time. from the initial getting-to-know-yous to more mature topics and eventually topic that involved life and future plans. honestly, i had fun, and although i don't easily trust people and i initially hold back on some significant facts in my life to complete strangers, i caught myslef giving every little bit and piece of information about me...that incliuded my pathetic lovelife, my big C, my family, and my other friends.

the converation ended with a truce that we will be there for each other. it wasn't just an ordinary promise from someone, but it came from the willingness of two souls. two very distinct and individual minds that met and agreed to discover the superlatives of life.

this experience taught me that what lies deep beneath all of us, no matter how we conceal it, is the fact that we can still get those elusive aspirations in this enigmatic life. i was waiting for someone to come along for the longest time, given my painful emotional hurts in the past. that we still can meet the right people in the most opportune time, and no matter how weird the cirscumstances may be, you will surely bump into somebody whom you can call a friend, without any malice, only love...who knows what will come right next...